I fell, you merely tripped A stumble of the heart. You went ahead, I fell behind Our paths began to part. I looked in front to catch you up But your were out of sight. Around a bend, beyond my reach A better view for you.
I was chatting with a mate a while back about my desire to change careers, and she asked me if I felt I was an expert in anything. “I dunno” I replied offhand. “Probably boobs.” We laughed, because everyone knows Boob Men don’t come much bigger than me. What can I say? I’ve never been… Read More A Killer Rack
It’s two days before my period is due and as usual my mood is hanging somewhere between moderately frustrated and thoroughly homicidal. This month however it’s not PMT that’s the cause of my irritation, but another lesser known disorder called Unavailable Tampon Syndrome, or UTS. Most of you won’t have heard of it because…well…I just… Read More Unavailable Tampon Syndrome
Dear Louise, Bridget & Frances, Hi girls. You don’t know me but I know you. Only from TV of course, but I still feel an affinity with you. I hope you don’t mind me contacting you. I guess it’s pretty hard to stay anonymous when your dad’s running for Prime Minister, hey? It’s just that… Read More An Open Letter to Tony Abbott’s Daughters
Fifteen years ago I was on a Qantas flight approaching Auckland when the pilot came over the loud speaker to give his final address before landing. As he signed off, he came out with “Ladies and gentlemen, local time is 3pm. Don’t forget to set your watches forward three hours, and your calendars back 30… Read More Marriage Equality, Let’s Get On With It.
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only lesbian who doesn’t fancy Ruby Rose. I know we’re all supposed to love a heavily tattooed, spikey-haired lezzer with a bit of talent and a lot of fame, but that’s never been my bag. This week though, I could have French-kissed the bejesus out of her. Talking about… Read More Chinks In the Armour
I donkey voted today, and I feel a bit dirty about it. I didn’t do it out of a lack of respect for the voting system, nor because I thought it would be funny or smart. I did it because for me personally, it was the most honest decision I could make, the one that… Read More The Donkeys, The Muppets and Me.