“An agony. The exit like the entrance – but reversed. A palindrome: gut-tug.” Lorrie Moore I had my heart broken twice last year. One was your standard romantic affair, exploding like a landmine, and propelling me into a new reality I’m still struggling to recognise as my own. The other I saw coming, though it… Read More For Charlie (A Lingering Farewell)
– Tony Abbott gets drunk and acts like the worlds’ most embarrassing uncle at a BBQ: dunk your head in a keg of VB, it can’t get any worse. – You see someone wearing their G20 all access pass outside of the exclusion zone: top shelf, A grade scotch, two chunks of hand chipped ice.… Read More The Gertie’s G20 Drinking Game
Forget anything you know about camp and prepare yourself, because this week saw an event camper than a Bert and Patty Newton Christmas special. Barbra Streisand joined Instagram. I repeat – Barbra Streisand has joined Instagram. And I have to say it is everything I expected it to be – the perfect blend of roses,… Read More Barbra Streisand – Here’s to Campster-gram…
So apparently I’ve reached that point in my life where, when I catch up with friends, all anyone wants to ask me is whether I’m seeing someone. I’m not sure if it’s my clitoris or my heart that people are most concerned with, but either way they aren’t concerned with any other achievement in my… Read More To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
I can’t remember my Cabbage Patch Kid’s name. Should I be worried about that? I know this is a weird thing to suddenly start obsessing about in my late 30s, but the thought struck me today and I can’t shake it. I remember all sorts of things about childhood. I remember the names of the… Read More When In Doubt, Lewis Carroll
I found a heart shaped pebble Lying in the sand A treasure from the beach to me I held it in my hand But as my fingers brushed it clean It changed its shape anew It slid from me back to the sea And disappeared from view
Okay, someone is going to have to explain Tough Mudder to me. Not what it is—I am capable of reading their website—but why anyone would put themself through it. What part of a 20-kilometre obstacle course designed by British Special Forces including challenges called Ball Shrinker and Artic Enema attracts people? Maybe it’s the bit… Read More Tough Mudder (The Urban List)
Dear Louise, Bridget & Frances, Hi girls. You don’t know me but I know you. Only from TV of course, but I still feel an affinity with you. I hope you don’t mind me contacting you. I guess it’s pretty hard to stay anonymous when your dad’s running for Prime Minister, hey? It’s just that… Read More An Open Letter to Tony Abbott’s Daughters
Royal Baby Drinking Game: 1. Queen arrives with a ‘If you think I’m cute you should see my Great Grandma t-shirt’ = double shot of Drambuie. 2. Camilla is seen ducking out for a ciggie = pint of warm lager. 3. Carol Middleton seen sticking her chewing gum under a table in the hospital cafeteria… Read More The Royal Baby Drinking Game
My latest for The Urban List! http://www.theurbanlist.com/brisbane/a-list/dont-call-me-baby
