– Tony Abbott gets drunk and acts like the worlds’ most embarrassing uncle at a BBQ: dunk your head in a keg of VB, it can’t get any worse. – You see someone wearing their G20 all access pass outside of the exclusion zone: top shelf, A grade scotch, two chunks of hand chipped ice.… Read More The Gertie’s G20 Drinking Game
So apparently I’ve reached that point in my life where, when I catch up with friends, all anyone wants to ask me is whether I’m seeing someone. I’m not sure if it’s my clitoris or my heart that people are most concerned with, but either way they aren’t concerned with any other achievement in my… Read More To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
I was chatting with a mate a while back about my desire to change careers, and she asked me if I felt I was an expert in anything. “I dunno” I replied offhand. “Probably boobs.” We laughed, because everyone knows Boob Men don’t come much bigger than me. What can I say? I’ve never been… Read More A Killer Rack
Dear Louise, Bridget & Frances, Hi girls. You don’t know me but I know you. Only from TV of course, but I still feel an affinity with you. I hope you don’t mind me contacting you. I guess it’s pretty hard to stay anonymous when your dad’s running for Prime Minister, hey? It’s just that… Read More An Open Letter to Tony Abbott’s Daughters
I remember the first time I met you, at a dinner party in Balmain. You seemed smart and funny, although slightly annoying in a peppy, sunshiny way. I now know you can be far more energetic than you were that night, but at the time I found your positivity just a bit more than my… Read More For Iris
Fifteen years ago I was on a Qantas flight approaching Auckland when the pilot came over the loud speaker to give his final address before landing. As he signed off, he came out with “Ladies and gentlemen, local time is 3pm. Don’t forget to set your watches forward three hours, and your calendars back 30… Read More Marriage Equality, Let’s Get On With It.
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only lesbian who doesn’t fancy Ruby Rose. I know we’re all supposed to love a heavily tattooed, spikey-haired lezzer with a bit of talent and a lot of fame, but that’s never been my bag. This week though, I could have French-kissed the bejesus out of her. Talking about… Read More Chinks In the Armour